Codependency in practice
Literally translated from English, codependency means mutually dependent. As far as is known, this term first appeared in the late 1950s, with the AA (Alcoholics Anonymous), to understand the behaviour that people around the alcoholic understand. Nowadays, we know that codependency can occur in various situations. How does it actually come about? And how can codependency be recognized?
The truth behind codependency
Codependency often arises in an unsafe family situation, where there can often be a parent who suffers from a personality disorder such as narcissism and / or addiction problems. Think not only of alcohol or drugs, but also of sex, work or gambling addiction. Often you also see that the child is insufficiently supported in a healthy basic need, and unfortunately the characteristic background such as (affective) neglect, abuse and abuse is higher than average. Either warp and weft. Because of this condition, adult codependent men and women have difficulties with, among other things:
- Developing a healthy self-esteem: one moment the codependent feels himself small and vulnerable, while the other moment the codependent seems to blow himself up purely out of survival tactics.
- Setting boundaries and also monitoring them is a crime for the codependent, especially because he or she has great difficulty setting boundaries, purely because there is a lack of (h) recognizing and applying their own boundaries , to take good care of themselves.
- Deal with setbacks in a constructive way and learn from them.
- To be able to fulfill their own adult needs. Here too the codependent lacks self-insight. Being able to feel: what do I need now? Does this feel right? And are people crossing my borders?
- Express appropriately, your own feelings and truths. The codependent often lets it run so high, what is going on in him, that when the emotion manifests outwards, it will often be in disproportionate fear, anger or sadness.
- But how does this manifest in reality?
It is also seen that when the codependent has been wronged in any form, a sense of rancor often lingers. This often happens unnoticed. You often also see addiction sensitivity. This can vary from substance abuse, such as alcohol or drugs, but also food addictions, love addiction and sex addiction (the latter is quite common because an orgasm has the same effect as an opiate, namely analgesic. And the often mental pain, the codependent gladly loses!). Because the codependent has not been able to build a well-founded relationship with himself, these people therefore have difficulty experiencing real intimacy.
Codependent and then?
Because the codependent has a large "will to please" and is always ready for others, they often fall prey to narcissists and psychopaths. The hidden narcissist, in particular, will gladly present himself as a "victim", knowing that the codependent's nurturing nature is the perfect prey to destroy in order to improve for himself. But with terrible consequences for the codependent. When you discover that you are a codependent, it is important that you seek good guidance. Because unfortunately it is a fact that the codependent who does not allow himself to be treated often ends up in a destructive relationship again. You can of course continue to discuss this topic with the consultants of Sexpower.online
Mona Liza Verseijden
sexpower.online
Datum: 01-07-'20
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